Korean Funeral
February 06, 2007

I went to a Korean Funeral tonight.  It was partially a traditional Korean style ceremony and part Catholic.  The family was Catholic.  I didn't bring my camera because I thought it would have been rude.  But looking back, I probably could've brought it.  When we arrived, the family greeted us all with numerous bows.  We were escorted into a small room where we (Yong Won, Jin, and myself) twice deeply bowed to a picture of the grandmother that had passed away.  Yong Won placed a white flower on the alter that was covered with white chrysanthemums and the smell of incense was in the air.  We then bowed deeply to the direct family members of the deceased which was followed by introductions.  The woman who died was Jin's brother-in-law's grandmother, so he spoke to his father and brothers about us.  It was all very formal.

We were then escorted into a large dining room like area where the walls were covered with more white chrysanthemums and with numerous short Korean style tables scattered around.  Everyone was sitting on the floor eating and drinking.  The feeling to me was almost like a family reunion.  All the family and friends were there, but it was a sad occasion.  In a 5 day traditional style Korean funeral, the family must stay at the funeral home for 3 days, 24 hours a day.  They aren't allowed to bath, wear makeup, or brush their teeth.  The reason is because they believe that it's their fault that the deceased passed away (specifically the first son), so they stay unkempt like a criminal might be.  On the 3rd day, everyone travels to the tomb for the burial.  Everyone sleeps on the 4th day, and then the 5th day is filled with prayers at a temple.

It was a very interesting experience for me.  The deceased woman's first son and his wife seemed very pleased that I attended.  I had Jin translate "my condolences" to them.  As we left, the family formally lined up to escort us out and we all bowed numerous times to each other.  The moon was bright and beautiful tonight, so I'm sure the woman was looking down with pleasure on her ceremony.

The interesting night wasn't quite over for me just yet.  When we arrived home, Jin's mother met us at the door a little flustered.  She had a small bowl of what I think was salt.  She stopped us from entering the home and tossed a few scatterings of salt at Jin and then me.  Jin told me it was to prevent any bad ghosts from coming inside that might have followed us from the funeral home.  Even though Korea is a modern society, many Koreans still have centuries old traditions.  It's all very very interesting to me.

What I learned today about Korea:  1)  At a Korean funeral, the direct descendants wear an armband with 2 black stripes and the next generation of sons wear an armband with one stripe.